As a busy Mom, We have a million things going on and not enough time in a day. One of the questions I had this month was "How can I simply become unbusy". This Mom went on to say that the "busy" isn't always stressful, but it's exhausting and just "too much".
Juggling children's schedules with work and life routines isn't easy. Wait a second... Are there even still routines after having children? It can be a huge struggle!
The effects of being overly busy and moving at a high speed can be hard on a Mom's health and mental wellness. Let's first look at some of the effects of constantly being in fight or flight mode presents...
Imbalanced Hormones - Elevated cortisol levels disrupt many other hormones needed to stay physically and mentally balanced. Disrupted and imbalanced hormones can cause inability to sleep, decreased energy, fatigue, irritability, low mood and that is just to name a few. Mom's need to be balanced physically and emotionally. Having less stress and living a more simple life with routines allows Mom's more time for self care, leading to better hormone balance.
Decreased Immunity - When Mom's are on the go nonstop, they typically aren't eating the best nor taking supplements that can support what their bodies may be lacking. This can lead to getting sick more often and a longer recovery time. This leads to missed days of work and pay. In a lot of cases, it also leads to the kiddos catching the bug and a repeat of missed work days, lost energy, and pay. Following the first suggestion to create routines, time for self care, and living more stress free can boost immunity alone, without even adding those extra supplements.
Over Reacting - When Mom is overly stressed and in nonstop mode, it becomes a habit to not take the time to thoroughly think things through and overreact. This leads to Mom guilt which is one of the worst feelings a Mom can carry around. When Mom can follow a self care routine, cut out negativity and things that take up time that do not promote health and wellness, then Mom can focus on what her body needs emotionally to stay balanced. This could be getting regular massages, going to weekly yoga classes, meditating, walking, etc. Self Care can lead to better self regulation. This means less overreacting, more thinking it through, and less Mom guilt.
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So how can you become "UNBUSY"?
Start Here -
1. Set up some routines - Start by creating three schedules, a work schedule, sleep schedule, and family time schedule. Leave three 30 minute time frames open each day (if this isn't possible, try for at least one 30 minute time frame and two fifteen minute). This extra time is your self care time. It is your new YOU time. Choose three times of the day that you can devote to yourself right now. You can always change them later.
2. Prioritize Self Care - Now that you are starting some new routines that allow you time for self care, you need to BLOCK this time, never over book it, and write down at least five things you would love to or could be doing during this time. You can always add more self care items later to the check list. Ideas could be going for a walk alone, reading about your favorite topic, making a picture book of your kiddos, taking a warm epsom salt bath, doing one of your favorite hobbies that your forgot you even enjoyed, fishing, stretching, putting on a facial mask, heck, you can even add shaving your legs and putting lotion on them! These items can be anything, even hobbies, because remember, taking time to do what you love, clear your mind, and relieve stress creates a happier version of you.
3. Assess - If you don't already have a calendar go ahead and draw one up quickly or print one for this month (google free printable calendar or head to printacalendar.com). Fill in your schedule for the hours each day for a quick overview. You do not have to go into great detail for this.
Look at events you attend or other things you plan to do this month. What are you doing daily, weekly, or monthly that is a waste of your time? This is something that makes you cringe thinking about it, creates nervous tension, exhausts you, keeps you away from self care time or your children, and is literally using up your energy bit by bit. It's time to remove the things that you can that do not promote health, wellness, or happiness in your life. It is making you busy and your goal is to be "unbusy".
4. Delegate - What are some of the things you do daily that keep you busy but you would rather not do them or they could be delegated? For example, if you hate cleaning and can afford to pay someone to come a few hours a week, every other, or even once a month, then think of how much time this would save you to do things that matter more to you. Maybe you could have your child help with a few easy chores and ask Dad to help out with a few things per week (creating a little routine for Dad too that is helpful for you). Maybe there are things you could be asking your parents or family to help with or even your besties. See what you can get some support with to lessen your load.
As Mom's we try to do it all. It is okay to ask for help though. You can also think about ways you can offer support to others helping you, that are a struggle for them, but seamless for you. This takes away from some of the guilt of asking for help.
5. Meal Plan - Start meal planning to save you time during the week. Look at your calendar weekly and note ahead of time what you have available for meal ideas, and even note when is a good night to go out to eat on the busiest days. This allows you time to sit and eat with your children, talk and truly listen, and avoid last minute store runs, drive throughs, and clean up. Always add nutritious snacks to your grocery list and on your meal plan too.
Part of simplifying your life is decreasing clutter (in life and your home) and saying no more often.
Think of it this way...
If you are chasing a dream but you are doing 50 things per year that do not get you closer to your dream, than why would you do them?
Follow the path that gets you and your family to your goals and dreams. Always.
If you need help learning to clear your schedule and get a good vision on the road ahead, click below to book a wellness consultation with me and I will share with you the exact framework I used to repaint what my days, months, and year looked like so I could stay focused on my family's goals and dreams.
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Jamie Michaels, Natural Wellness Educator & Founder of Children's Wellness Tree
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